So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
