That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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