fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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