Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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