After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
