pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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