im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
