I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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