i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
