just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
so much tequila, so little girl.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
