Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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