If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize