he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i've created a new STD.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
