3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
