why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
