i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I had to cum in my sink.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
