Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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