Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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