She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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