i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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