roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
