I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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