She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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