hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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