I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
is wine microwaveable?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
