I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
