Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
