I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
