so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just gift wrapped bread.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
