so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
