Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
