and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
