i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
