dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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