I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize