We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
