if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
