32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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