We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
