Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
