I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
