She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
