Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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