he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
