happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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