He disabled his match.com account in front of me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
