I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
