I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize