No stitches, just platelets and will power
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
