who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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