oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
