it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
