You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
