He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
