were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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