so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
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