dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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