just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
